Put Off/Put On

I graduated from Bible College in the spring of 2003.  After a summer of working at a camp I began my dream job as a Youth Pastor at a small church in Wisconsin.  I was finally doing what I always wanted to do.  I got paid to study the Bible and preach it to a bunch of teens.  I loved my new job and started into it with the discipline needed to be successful, but soon that all changed.  This entire post is kind of the story of my struggle with an enslaving sin that began to control me, and how through God's grace I am overcoming it.

Gluttony and Laziness


As I mentioned I was now a youth pastor and with my new job came new pressures.  There were deadlines, counseling issues and the need to appease parents.  Did I mention I was still single at this time?  Many of the stresses in my life I could not talk about because of the private nature of the discussions.  So I began to shrink into my own little world.  I was going to work then going straight home to watch sports for the rest of the night.  I began to make excuses why I could not do the activities I wanted to do (play sports, bike ride or rollerblade).  I am too tired, today was too hard of a day or I just do not feel too good.  With my laziness in my recreational life came a laziness in my personal life.  I stopped cooking and started just grabbing anything to eat.  Soon my days where made up of McDonalds for breakfast, a buffet for lunch, some sit down high fat food for dinner and of course I needed a huge bowl of ice cream to eat while I watched the news.  Nightly my living room would look like I had a huge party because I had piles of chip bags, candy wrappers and cans of pop that I had consumed.  I was stuck in a rut and had every excuse to explain how I could not stop.

You Need to Lose Weight


Lots of people who were my friends or associates would tell me all the time that I needed to lose weight.  I had people trying to help me but instead of accepting their input as good advice I would get offended and just go eat more food.  They tried everything to help me.  I got diet books, told in a loving way to lose weight, yelled at and even pushed to go workout, but I was so sure I could handle it on my own.  I tried every diet imaginable.  I went to Weight Watchers.  I would lose 40 pounds and then I would quit.  I was in love with being a lazy glutton.  I wanted to be happy and I hated the pain of denying myself.

I Will Love You No Matter What


One day I met the eventual love of my life.  Tori told me everytime that I would talk to her about my weight that she would love me no matter what size I was.  I could not figure this out.  I had thought that people loved me based on my size.  When I was losing weight people seemed to get really excited, but when I was out of hand they seemed to judge me.  I know now that this is not true, but at that time my perception was all that mattered.  Tori soon told me that if I believed that I was pleasing God then my size was irrelevant.  I am so glad I married her.  She made it less about mass and more about motive.

Ephesians 4


Tori and I decided to move to Lafayette to get training in Biblical Counseling.  As classes started I began to be convicted about my own sin.  I came across these verses and began to apply them to my life,  Ephesians 4:22-24, "      22      that, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit,
      23      and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind,
      24      and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth."
I was living my life to please my deceitful lusts.  The lies I was living for were that food made me happy and discipline is too hard.  As I realized this I began to pursue pleasing God because of my love for him.  I started to desire to live a holy and righteous life.  I realized that if I was living for anything other than my devotion to Christ I was not striving to be holy and making that object my God.

510 pounds to Content in Christ


At that point in my life the only scale that could still take my weight was at the doctor's office (or a semi-truck weigh station).  I went to the doctor for an infection in my leg and discovered that I weighed 510 pounds.  I have been working out now, making sure to do it out of discipline so I can please God better.  As of this morning I am down to 340 pounds (not skinny but pleasing to God) and I can say with confidence that once I saw my sin for what it was and decided to please God in all the areas of my life I have been changed.

You Can Do It


What is it you are struggling with?  Maybe you are addicted to a chemical, an emotion or a sinful activity that defines who you are, today is the day for change.  Put off the old self and desires to hold onto these things.  Set aside your emotional attachment to it and view it for what it is, an idol.  Give your whole life to pursuing holiness and righteousness and see what God can do with you.

Discipline Yourself for the Purpose of Godliness.